Pain isn’t Useless

“There are two kinds of pain. The pain that makes you strong, or useless pain. The sort of pain that’s only suffering.”

There is so much pain and suffering in our world, and too many people believe that there is no purpose to it, no greater good. They allow the pain to crush them, to disable them. I believe that all the pain we experience is to make us stronger. I believe it will make us grow, evolve. I believe it does have a greater good, so long as we allow it to.

To be completely honest and raw, I have not always thought this. I allowed my pain and suffering to hold me down; I allowed it to crush me and suffocate me. And I still have days where I feel like this. People tell me I am strong, courageous, inspiring. People tell me I give them hope. But it’s not me that’s behind all that. There is no way I would be moving forward the way I am without a crazy, supernatural force behind me. My pain and suffering isn’t useless. God is using me in ways I can’t even begin to imagine. He is changing me, forcing me to grow into the woman he wants me be.

It’s strange, weeks before the accident, Caleb and I talked about what life would be like without one another. He couldn’t talk about it. He didn’t want to imagine life without me, and neither did I. But at that time, I thought that if I lost Caleb I would curl into a ball and never move. I thought I would lose my voice, my light, my love for life. For a while I did, but somehow I’ve got it back. I don’t want to excuse that I have my bad days, there’s no doubt about that. But I find that I am actually able to pick myself up and carry on. I thank God for that.

God doesn’t see our pain and suffering as useless. He sees our trials and tribulations as a chapter in our life that makes us stronger. And it’s not because we can overcome it on our own. God will walk with us, cry with us, hurt with us, scream with us, only so that He can lift us up again. So let Him.

John 9:1-12

As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” After saying this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. “Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam” (this word means “Sent”). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing. His neighbors and those who had formerly seen him begging asked, “Isn’t this the same man who used to sit and beg?” Some claimed that he was. Others said, “No, he only looks like him.” But he himself insisted, “I am the man.” “How then were your eyes opened?” they asked. He replied, “The man they call Jesus made some mud and put it on my eyes. He told me to go to Siloam and wash. So I went and washed, and then I could see.”